HOW DOES DIVORCE AFFECT CHILDREN?
How divorce affects children depends a great deal on what they live through around it: how much conflict they see, whether they are put in the middle, how stable their days stay, and whether both parents remain involved when it is safe. Colorado's legislature has recognized research documenting harm to children when parents continue the conflict, expose children to it, place them in the middle of it, or when one parent drops out of the child's life.
That is good news in one sense, because many of those factors are within parents' control. This guide covers what generally helps and hurts, how to tell your children, what Colorado courts consider when they allocate parental responsibilities, the parenting class required in El Paso County, and when to get your child extra support.
It is general information, not medical or psychological advice. For concerns about a particular child, talk with your child's doctor, school counselor or a licensed mental health professional.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- What Colorado Law Says About Children and Divorce
- What Helps and What Hurts
- Age-by-Age Considerations
- How to Tell Your Children
- What Colorado Courts Look At
- The Parenting Class in El Paso County
- Parenting Plans That Reduce Conflict
- When to Get Your Child More Support
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Talking With a Colorado Springs Family Law Attorney
- Sources
WHAT COLORADO LAW SAYS ABOUT CHILDREN AND DIVORCE
Colorado's parental education statute, C.R.S. 14-10-123.7, opens with the General Assembly's findings. It recognizes research showing that children of divorce or separation may experience "a decreased ability to function academically, socially, and psychologically" because of the stress of the process.
The same findings identify what drives that harm: parents who "continue the marital conflict," "expose the children to this conflict," or "place the children in the middle of the conflict," and situations where "one parent drops out of the child's life." Court-approved parenting programs exist to "teach coparenting skills and strategies" so parents can keep raising their children cooperatively.
In C.R.S. 14-10-124, the legislature also finds that, in most circumstances, it is in the best interest of all parties to encourage frequent and continuing contact between each parent and the children, and it urges parents to share the rights and responsibilities of raising them. The same statute says co-parenting is not appropriate in all circumstances, and in setting parenting time the child's safety is always paramount.
WHAT HELPS AND WHAT HURTS
Keep Conflict Away From the Children
Disagreements are normal in a divorce; exposing children to them is the problem. Hold difficult conversations when the children are not present, keep exchanges calm and brief, and use written messages for anything likely to turn into an argument.
Do Not Put Children in the Middle
Children should not carry messages, report on the other household, choose sides, or hear adult details about money, fault or the court case. Avoid criticizing the other parent in front of them, including small remarks and comments made on the phone within earshot.
Protect Stability and Routine
Familiar routines, schools, activities and friendships give children something to hold onto while the family changes. Where you can, keep bedtimes, rules and expectations similar in both homes, and give children notice before changes.
Keep Both Parents Involved When It Is Safe
Colorado law treats ongoing contact with both parents as valuable in most cases, and a parent dropping out of a child's life is one of the harms the legislature identified. If there are safety concerns, such as domestic violence or substance abuse, the child's safety comes first; see our pages on emergency parenting orders in Colorado and protection orders in Colorado Springs.
AGE-BY-AGE CONSIDERATIONS
Every child is different, so treat these as practical starting points rather than rules. The common thread at every age is reassurance, predictability and protection from adult conflict.
- Babies and toddlers: keep routines, caregivers and comfort items as consistent as possible between homes.
- Preschool children: use short, simple explanations, repeat them often, and make clear that nothing they did caused the change.
- School-age children: give concrete answers about where they will sleep and how they will get to school and activities, and keep the schedule on a calendar they can see.
- Teenagers: listen to their views on schedules and activities, but do not make them the decision-maker, a messenger, or your confidant.
HOW TO TELL YOUR CHILDREN
If you can, tell the children together, after the two of you have agreed on what to say. Plan the conversation for a calm time, not right before school or bedtime.
- Keep it simple, honest and suited to each child's age.
- Tell them clearly that the divorce is not their fault and that both parents love them.
- Explain what will stay the same and what will change, as concretely as you can.
- Do not assign blame or share details about the reasons or the court case.
- Invite questions, and expect the same questions again over the following weeks and months.
Children need to hear these messages more than once. If one parent cannot be part of the conversation, keep your message neutral about the other parent.
WHAT COLORADO COURTS LOOK AT
Colorado calls what most people know as custody the allocation of parental responsibilities, which covers decision-making responsibility and parenting time. Under C.R.S. 14-10-124, the court decides both according to the child's best interests, giving paramount consideration to the child's safety and physical, mental and emotional conditions and needs. For a fuller explanation, see our guide to Colorado custody laws.
For parenting time, the factors the court considers include:
- The parents' wishes.
- The child's wishes, if the child is sufficiently mature to express reasoned and independent preferences.
- The child's relationships with each parent, siblings and other significant people.
- The child's adjustment to home, school and community.
- The mental and physical health of everyone involved, although a disability alone is not a basis to deny or restrict parenting time.
- Each parent's ability to encourage the sharing of love, affection and contact between the child and the other parent.
- Each parent's past involvement with the child, and the parents' physical proximity to each other.
- Each parent's ability to place the child's needs ahead of their own.
For decision-making, the court also considers credible evidence of the parents' ability to cooperate and make decisions jointly. Colorado has no age at which a child chooses (see whether a child can choose which parent to live with), no presumption of equal parenting time, and no presumption favoring either parent because of sex. Our guide to fathers' rights in Colorado explains what that means for fathers.
Abuse changes the analysis. Under HB26-1309 (approved May 27, 2026, and not yet in the 2025 online statutes), if the court finds by a preponderance of the evidence that a parent committed domestic violence, child abuse or neglect, or a sexual assault that resulted in the child's conception, the safety and well-being of the child and the abused party become the primary concern.
The court must then set conditions on parenting time to protect them. Mutual decision-making over the other parent's objection is not in the child's best interests unless the court finds it can work without coercion or risk of harm.
In contested cases, the court may appoint a child and family investigator under C.R.S. 14-10-116.5 or a child's legal representative under C.R.S. 14-10-116. Our guide on whether your child needs a lawyer explains those roles.
THE PARENTING CLASS IN EL PASO COUNTY
Under C.R.S. 14-10-123.7, a court may order a parent of a child under 18 to attend a program about the effects of separation and divorce on children, paid for by the parents according to their ability to pay. In El Paso County, it is a standard requirement.
The El Paso County District Court's domestic relations case management order requires all parents with children under 18 to attend a Level 1 parenting seminar within 42 days of filing, from an approved provider, and to file the certificate of completion with the court. The El Paso County forms page likewise lists Level 1 parenting classes as required in all domestic relations cases involving children under 18.
The Judicial Branch's El Paso County legal assistance list describes the Level 1 class as available online or in person and lists the fee as $65 per person, with fee waivers possible for people who have a court fee waiver order or a Colorado Legal Services indigency certification. If your case is in Teller County, check the case management order issued in your case.
PARENTING PLANS THAT REDUCE CONFLICT
Under C.R.S. 14-10-124, either parent may submit a parenting plan, and if none is submitted or approved, the court writes its own. The court may also order mediation to help parents create, modify or carry out a plan, and in El Paso and Teller counties a Fourth Judicial District blanket order requires mediation before a court hearing in domestic cases unless the court grants a waiver.
The plans that cause the least conflict leave little to argue about. A detailed plan typically covers:
- The regular weekly schedule, including exact exchange times and places.
- Holidays, birthdays and school breaks, set out year by year.
- How major decisions about education, health care and activities are made.
- How the parents communicate, for example by email or a co-parenting app, and response times.
- Travel, especially out-of-state travel, and how much notice is required.
- How disagreements are handled before anyone files a motion.
For examples, see our guides to parenting time in Colorado and splitting holidays after a divorce. When parents can agree on these terms, an uncontested divorce can spare the family a contested hearing over the children.
WHEN TO GET YOUR CHILD MORE SUPPORT
Children react to a family change in different ways. If you notice changes in sleep, eating, school performance, friendships or mood that last, keep getting worse, or get in the way of daily life, talk with someone who can assess your child.
A pediatrician, school counselor or licensed therapist is a sensible first call. In an August 2025 release, Colorado's Behavioral Health Administration pointed families to resources including I Matter, which offered free therapy sessions to students regardless of insurance, and the 988 Colorado Mental Health Line for around-the-clock support.
If a child talks about self-harm or you believe a child is in danger, get help immediately by calling 988 or 911. If the danger comes from the other household, a court can act quickly to restrict parenting time.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
Is Divorce Harder on Younger or Older Children?
Colorado law does not single out an age group. The legislature's findings focus on factors that matter at any age: ongoing conflict, exposure to it, being placed in the middle, and losing contact with a parent.
Do Colorado Courts Prefer 50/50 Parenting Time?
No. Colorado has no presumption of equal parenting time, and the court may not favor either parent because of sex. The court allocates parenting time according to the child's best interests, with the child's safety given paramount consideration.
At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Colorado?
There is no set age. The court considers the wishes of a child who is sufficiently mature to express reasoned and independent preferences, as one factor among many.
Do Both Parents Have to Take a Parenting Class in El Paso County?
Yes. The El Paso County District Court's case management order requires all parents with children under 18 in a domestic relations case to attend a Level 1 parenting seminar within 42 days of filing and to file the certificate of completion.
Can Parents Write Their Own Parenting Plan?
Yes. Either parent may submit a parenting plan, and parents often submit one they have agreed on. The court reviews it against the child's best interests and, if it does not approve a plan, writes its own.
TALKING WITH A COLORADO SPRINGS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY
Many parents come to a first meeting worried most about their children. Understanding how Colorado handles parenting issues, and what a realistic plan looks like, can lower the stress for everyone, including the children.
If you are still deciding on next steps, our guides on whether you need a lawyer for a divorce, the differences between divorce and legal separation, and what to do if your husband wants a divorce may help. For the financial side of a divorce with children, see our guide to how child support works in Colorado. For how divorce tends to affect each member of the family, including the parents, see who suffers most in divorce.
Moran, Allen & Associates Family Law Attorneys works with parents throughout El Paso and Teller counties on divorce and parental responsibilities cases. Call (719) 447-0762 in Colorado Springs or (719) 686-7554 in Woodland Park, or schedule a free consultation to talk through your situation.
This article is general information about Colorado law as of October 2026 and is not legal advice or medical advice. Laws, court procedures and local orders change, so speak with a licensed Colorado attorney about your situation and with a qualified professional about your child's well-being.
SOURCES
- C.R.S. 14-10-123.7, Parental Education and Legislative Declaration
- C.R.S. 14-10-124, Best Interests of the Child
- Colorado Session Laws 2026, Chapter 163 (HB26-1309, Abuse in Cases of Separation, as enacted)
- C.R.S. 14-10-116, Child's Legal Representative
- C.R.S. 14-10-116.5, Child and Family Investigator
- Fourth Judicial District, Blanket Order to Alternative Dispute Resolution/Mediation in Domestic Cases (FCF 300A)
- El Paso County District Court (Fourth Judicial District), Domestic Relations Case Management Order (FCF 400, rev. August 2026)
- Colorado Judicial Branch, El Paso County Forms (parenting class requirement)
- Colorado Judicial Branch, El Paso County Legal Assistance list (rev. July 23, 2026)
- Colorado Behavioral Health Administration, Family Mental Health Resources (August 2025)