HOW OLD DO YOU HAVE TO BE TO DECIDE WHICH PARENT YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH?
At what age can a child choose which parent to live with in Colorado? There is no set age, and Colorado law never hands the decision to the child, whether the child is 12, 14 or 16. Instead, the court considers the wishes of a child who is sufficiently mature to express reasoned and independent preferences, as one factor in deciding what is in the child's best interests.
Going through a divorce can stir up plenty of uncertainties, especially regarding the well-being of your children. At our Colorado Springs family law firm, we understand how important it is for parents to know when, and whether, a child can decide which parent to live with.
This article explains how Colorado weighs a child's maturity, the ways a child's views reach the court, what changes for teenagers, and what parents can do to support a child's voice without putting the child in the middle.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
- Key Factors Weighed With a Child's Custody Preference
- Legal Age for a Child to Express Custody Preferences
- Impact of a Child's Custody Choice on Legal Proceedings
- How Parents Can Support Their Child's Custody Preferences
- Frequently Asked Questions
- Talking With a Colorado Springs Family Law Attorney
- Sources
KEY FACTORS WEIGHED WITH A CHILD'S CUSTODY PREFERENCE IN COLORADO
We understand that deciding where children will live after a divorce is a process filled with deep concerns for their welfare. It helps to know what the court weighs alongside a child's preference, because the preference is never considered alone.
Colorado calls what most people know as custody the allocation of parental responsibilities, which covers decision-making responsibility and parenting time. Under C.R.S. 14-10-124, the court allocates both according to the child's best interests, giving paramount consideration to the child's safety and physical, mental and emotional conditions and needs.
For parenting time, the court must consider all relevant factors. Key aspects such as each parent's wishes, the child's relationships with parents, siblings and others who significantly affect the child, how well the child is adjusted to home, school and community, and the mental and physical health of everyone involved all play a role. A disability alone is not a basis to deny or restrict parenting time.
Other listed considerations include:
- Whether each parent's past involvement with the child reflects a system of values, time commitment and mutual support.
- How close the parents live to each other, as that affects the practical side of a parenting time schedule.
- Each parent's ability to encourage the sharing of love, affection and contact between the child and the other parent. If a parent is acting to protect the child from witnessing domestic violence, or from child abuse, neglect or domestic violence, those protective actions are not counted against that parent on this factor.
- Each parent's ability to put the child's needs ahead of their own.
Safety Comes First, and the Factors Are Not a Scorecard
The court does not give every factor equal weight and add them up. The statute makes the child's safety the paramount consideration, and the judge decides how much each relevant factor matters for a particular family.
Abuse changes the analysis. Under HB26-1309, approved May 27, 2026 and not yet shown in the 2025 online statutes, when the court finds by a preponderance of the evidence that a parent committed domestic violence, child abuse or neglect, or a sexual assault that resulted in the child's conception, the safety and well-being of the child and the abused party become the primary concern. The court must then impose conditions on parenting time that protect them, such as protected exchanges, supervised parenting time or restricted overnights.
No Presumption of Equal Time, and None for Either Parent
Colorado law does not start from a 50/50 schedule. A 2026 bill that would have created a presumption of equal parenting time, Senate Bill 26-027, was postponed indefinitely in committee, so courts still set each schedule according to the child's best interests.
The statute also bars the court from presuming that either parent is better able to serve the child's best interests because of that parent's sex. Our guide to Colorado custody laws explains how these elements shape a judge's decisions about parenting time and decision-making.
LEGAL AGE FOR A CHILD TO EXPRESS CUSTODY PREFERENCES IN COLORADO
In Colorado, the law does not set a specific age at which children can decide which parent they want to live with. This might surprise many people who believe there is an exact age for such decisions.
Judges consider each case individually. The child's-wishes factor in C.R.S. 14-10-124 asks whether a child is "sufficiently mature to express reasoned and independent preferences as to the parenting time schedule."
This means that while one child at twelve might be found mature enough to express their wishes, another of the same age may not. In our work with families, judges tend to give more weight to older children's preferences, because older children are more often able to explain choices about their own well-being and their relationships with each parent.
Still, expressing a preference does not decide the outcome. The court's job is to serve the best interests of the child, taking into account factors like mental and physical health, the child's safety, and the quality of the child's relationship with each parent.
A lawyer can help parents gather relevant evidence and decide whether, and how, a child's preference should be presented to the court. For Colorado Springs families, these cases are heard in the El Paso County courts of the Fourth Judicial District, which also covers Teller County.
What "Sufficiently Mature" Means in Practice
The statute does not define maturity, so the two words that follow it do most of the work. A reasoned preference rests on reasons tied to the child's own life, such as school, activities, friendships or how the child is treated in each home.
An independent preference is the child's own, not a parent's. Colorado's standards for child and family investigators, Chief Justice Directive 04-08, tell investigators to ask non-suggestive questions, aware that a child's stated views "may vary over time or may reflect fear, intimidation, or manipulation."
So a preference the child has held steadily and explains in their own words is easier for a court to treat as reasoned and independent. One that appears suddenly in the middle of a dispute, or repeats a parent's complaints, is harder to credit.
Teenagers in Practice
For many families, this question comes up in the teenage years. A 15- or 16-year-old with a job, a sports schedule or a driver's license often has concrete reasons for preferring one schedule, and reasons like these can carry real weight.
A teenager's preference is still one factor, not a veto. The court decides, an existing order stays in force until a court changes it, and the stricter rules for changing which parent the child lives with most of the time still apply.
Age matters in at least one specific rule. In a parental responsibilities evaluation under C.R.S. 14-10-127, the evaluator generally needs the consent of a child who is 15 or older to get information from the child's past medical, mental health or educational providers.
With an older teenager, a contested case can take months, so weigh the time and cost against how long a new schedule would matter. Our fuller guide on whether a child can choose which parent to live with in Colorado covers changing an existing order in more depth.
IMPACT OF A CHILD'S CUSTODY CHOICE ON LEGAL PROCEEDINGS
A child's input matters in Colorado parenting cases. The court considers a mature child's preferences among many factors before ruling, and that approach keeps the focus on the child's well-being and interests.
Not every child's wish leads directly to the outcome the child wants, but it helps the judge understand the child's life. Colorado law gives the court several ways to hear a child's views without making the child a witness in the parents' dispute, most often through court-appointed professionals who convey the child's wishes and concerns.
A Child and Family Investigator
A child and family investigator, or CFI, is a neutral person the court appoints to investigate and report on the issues its appointment order sets out. Under C.R.S. 14-10-116.5, "the child's wishes, if expressed, must be disclosed" in the CFI's written report.
Chief Justice Directive 04-08 tells the CFI to get the children's wishes through appropriate interview techniques and to report them even when the CFI recommends something different. The CFI need not adopt those wishes unless they serve the child's best interests.
A Child's Legal Representative
Under C.R.S. 14-10-116, the court may appoint a child's legal representative, or CLR, a Colorado-licensed attorney who advocates for the child's best interests. Parents do not hire this lawyer: the court appoints one on a party's motion or on its own, and orders the parties to pay the fees, with the state paying only where a responsible party is indigent.
The CLR must find out and consider what the child wants, but need not adopt those wishes unless they serve the child's best interests. A CLR is therefore not simply a voice for the child's stated preference, and cannot be called as a witness.
A Parental Responsibilities Evaluator
For a deeper look at the family, the court may order an evaluation under C.R.S. 14-10-127, after considering whether a CFI would be enough and whether involving the child is in the child's best interests. The evaluator assesses each parent's parenting attributes and considers the child's psychological needs, and any party may call the evaluator for cross-examination.
An Interview With the Judge in Chambers
A judge can also hear from a child directly. Under C.R.S. 14-10-126, on a motion, the court may interview the child in chambers to learn the child's wishes about the allocation of parental responsibilities.
The court may let the lawyers be present, a record of the interview must be made, and the court's order must explain why it granted or denied the request. In deciding the request, the court must give paramount consideration to cases in which a child has alleged domestic violence, child abuse or neglect, or child sexual abuse.
This method protects children from direct involvement in legal disputes while allowing their voices to be heard. Judges then weigh these inputs with other parts of the case, such as each parent's ability to provide care, any history of abuse or neglect, and overall family dynamics, before deciding how to allocate parental responsibilities.
Our guide to whether your child needs a lawyer explains these appointments, and what they cost, in more detail.
HOW PARENTS CAN SUPPORT THEIR CHILD'S CUSTODY PREFERENCES
Supporting your child during a divorce includes how you respond when your child has a view about where to live. There are clear steps you can take to help your child's voice be heard without placing your child in the middle.
- Listen to your child. Have open, honest and supportive conversations about how your child is feeling, without pressure. Do not ask your child to choose a parent or keep returning to the question, because a preference that sounds coached is unlikely to be treated as independent.
- Encourage expression. Let your child know it is safe to share feelings and thoughts about the separation, their living arrangements and their relationship with both parents.
- Get legal advice. A family law attorney can explain how a child's preference is likely to be viewed in your case and which channel, if any, fits.
- Know the standard before filing. A child's wish alone is not a reason to file. A motion to modify parenting time under C.R.S. 14-10-129 is judged by the child's best interests, and changing which parent the child lives with most of the time takes more, as the FAQ below explains.
- Foster positive relationships. Work actively to support the bond between your child and the other parent unless there are issues of abuse, neglect or harm. Each parent's ability to encourage that relationship is one of the statutory factors.
- Prepare evidence responsibly. If you believe a change is needed because of physical or emotional harm, gather and present relevant evidence without involving or stressing your child further. A motion alleging that a child is in imminent physical or emotional danger must be heard and ruled on within 14 days; see our guide to emergency custody orders in Colorado.
- Provide stability. During times of change, keep other parts of your child's life as stable as possible, including school, friendships and routines.
- Use mediation. In El Paso and Teller counties, a Fourth Judicial District order requires mediation before a court hearing in domestic cases, unless the court waives it based on claims of physical or psychological abuse. A mediator is not a parenting coordinator: under C.R.S. 14-10-128.1, a coordinator is appointed after parenting orders are in place to help parents carry out the plan.
- Set realistic expectations. Colorado sets no age at which a child decides, so expect the judge to listen to a mature child but to make the decision, and do not promise your child a particular result.
- Complete parenting education. In El Paso County, the court's domestic relations case management order requires all parents in a domestic relations case with children under 18 to attend a Level 1 parenting seminar within 42 days of filing and to file the certificate of completion.
Each step protects the child's well-being while still giving the child's independent preferences careful consideration. If you are building or rebuilding a schedule, our guide to restructuring your family following divorce covers parenting plans and how to change one later.
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
At What Age Can a Child Choose Which Parent to Live With in Colorado?
There is no set age. A Colorado court considers the wishes of a child who is sufficiently mature to express reasoned and independent preferences about the parenting time schedule, as one factor in the child's best interests. No age makes a child's preference controlling, although older children are more often found mature enough for their views to carry weight.
Can a Child Talk Directly to the Judge in Colorado?
Sometimes. Under C.R.S. 14-10-126, on a motion the court may interview the child in chambers about the child's wishes, a record of the interview must be made, and the court must explain in its order why it granted or denied the request.
Does a Lawyer Appointed for My Child Argue for What My Child Wants?
Not necessarily. A child's legal representative appointed under C.R.S. 14-10-116 must find out and consider the child's wishes but advocates for the child's best interests, and need not adopt those wishes unless they serve the child's best interests.
Do Colorado Courts Favor Equal Parenting Time?
No. Colorado has no presumption of equal (50/50) parenting time, and a 2026 bill that would have created one, Senate Bill 26-027, was postponed indefinitely. Courts set each schedule according to the child's best interests, with the child's safety given paramount consideration.
Can My Teenager Refuse to Go to the Other Parent's House?
Parents must follow a Colorado parenting time order until a court changes it, whatever the child's wishes. If a parent does not provide court-ordered parenting time, C.R.S. 14-10-129.5 lets the court order remedies such as makeup time, counseling or fines, and requires it to order that parent to pay the other parent's attorney fees and costs. If the schedule no longer works, the route is a motion to modify rather than a unilateral change.
Can Parenting Time Change Because My Child Wants to Live With Me?
Not on the child's wish alone. Under C.R.S. 14-10-129, an ordinary schedule change is judged by the child's best interests, but changing the parent the child lives with most of the time requires changed circumstances and a finding that the change is necessary to serve the child's best interests. Even then, the court keeps the existing schedule unless the parents agree, the child has been integrated into the moving parent's family with consent, a qualifying relocation is planned, or the child's present environment endangers the child and a change would do more good than harm.
TALKING WITH A COLORADO SPRINGS FAMILY LAW ATTORNEY
Figuring out at what age a child can decide which parent to live with in Colorado does not have a simple answer. Courts look closely at each family's story, and they think about the child's safety, feelings and many other things.
Every child is unique, so courts listen carefully before deciding how parenting time and decision-making are allocated. Moran, Allen & Associates Family Law Attorneys helps parents in El Paso and Teller counties understand this process and support their children's needs, with the children's interests first.
Call (719) 447-0762 in Colorado Springs or (719) 686-7554 for our Woodland Park family law office, or schedule a free consultation. Our Colorado Springs child custody page explains how parental responsibilities cases work.
This article is general information about Colorado law as of October 2026 and is not legal advice. Laws, court procedures and local orders change, so speak with a licensed Colorado attorney about your own situation.
SOURCES
- C.R.S. 14-10-124, Best Interests of the Child (2025 compilation)
- Colorado Session Laws 2026, Chapter 163 (HB26-1309, Abuse in Cases of Separation, approved May 27, 2026)
- Colorado General Assembly, SB26-027, Parental Equality and Child Empowerment Act (postponed indefinitely)
- C.R.S. 14-10-126, Interviews
- C.R.S. 14-10-116, Child's Legal Representative
- C.R.S. 14-10-116.5, Child and Family Investigator
- C.R.S. 14-10-127, Evaluation and Reports
- C.R.S. 14-10-128.1, Parenting Coordinator
- C.R.S. 14-10-129, Modification of Parenting Time
- C.R.S. 14-10-129.5, Disputes Concerning Parenting Time
- Chief Justice Directive 04-08, Child and Family Investigators (amended effective August 26, 2026)
- Fourth Judicial District, Blanket Order to Alternative Dispute Resolution/Mediation in Domestic Cases (FCF 300A)
- El Paso County District Court, Domestic Relations Case Management Order (FCF 400, rev. August 2026)
- Colorado Judicial Branch, El Paso County Courts (Fourth Judicial District)